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November 28, 2001

“What we do in life…echoes in eternity.” 

These words were spoken by the fictional Roman general Maximus, in the movie ‘Gladiator’ but it may as well have been taken right from a play of tonight’s playoff game in the equally dangerous IM football league. As Maximus and his army fought for precious land in the Roman Empire, the Section 5 team (Fab-5) fought for yardage under the lights and in front of a record crowd (estimated to be 7 people at half-time).

 The first half: Down but not out…

The first half saw the Fab-5 dig deep into their reserves to figure out the complicated offensive pattern that was being implemented with surgical precision by the opponents. Realizing that they were utilizing the dreaded ‘5-4-3-5-7-12-split’ pattern, the defense adjusted but it was too late as the opposition had put 13 points on the board. Some bad luck and a few bad calls (One defensive player fell subject to the feared “you got an extra guy” rule) made for a frustrating half. Team dissention climaxed when the captains were seen bickering. Craig told Brad to “shut the !@#$% up”, and Brad responded by temporarily kicking Craig off the team. Luckily, Craig ignored this order and made an impressive catch on the next play to snag an important first down. 

The second half: Don’t call it a come back…  

…that’s right; we’ve been here for years! After a spiritual half-time pep-talk, the Fab-5ers came back rejuvenated and ready for a new era in IM football. A strong drive led by Joe’s quick feet put us on the board. The pressure was now on the defense to not let the points go for naught. With a new plan (the defense switched from the Mazatlan pattern to the much more effective Corinthian model) in action, the defense was able to neutralize the opponents. Eric “wheels” Weber played 4 positions at the same time and covered both the opposing teams offensive line as well as a few of their people on the sidelines and a random guy in the parking lot. Matt "You're in my House!" Collet came up with a HUGE interception to stop the bad guys from scoring and it was now up to the offense.

 Once again, Joe “don’t worry, if I get into trouble, I’ll just pass it to myself” Gumbis unleashed the potent combination of lightening juke-moves and a shotgun for an arm and drove the team to scoring range. Unfortunately, the opponents had called in a small man with uncommon leaping ability and they returned our favor of an interception., Defense was at it once again. With some more strong work from a wining formula, the defense (led by Alex “I don’t care if they have girls on the team, I’m taking people DOWN TOWN” Soriano) held strong and gave the offense another opportunity.

 With one last series left in their battered souls, the offense drove consistently towards the end-zone. On the final play, a desperation toss from Gumbis forced everyone on the sidelines to gasp as a swarm of people leapt up in the end zone to grab the lofty pig skin. When the dust settled, left standing alone in the center was Craig “Captain Compassion” Saur. Stoic, confident and slightly congested from yelling at his own teammates, Craig looked at the people at his feet and cried “Kneel before Zod”.

 So there it was, down 0 – 13 at the half, the Fab 5 showed the true meaning of grit, determination and total fear of being yelled at and came back with a strong second half that resulted in victory. The final score: Scrubs who wanna be like us: 13; Us: 14. 

Noteworthy also was the fact that Jordan played the entire game without an insole in his left sneaker (if anyone sees it somewhere, he’d love to have it back!) bringing new meaning to “taking one for the team”.

 Next up: More people who want to knock us off the mountain on Sunday. Come cheer on your section in round 2 of the finals Sunday, 3:30 pm.


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